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How is Your Uniqueness a Strength?

Many people hate being different. But what if being different is exactly where all the opportunities for success and happiness start?

This is not a made up tease.

According to Gallup Research everyone has talent and some people have cultivated their talents into their STRENGTHS. People who use their strengths are happier and more satisfied with their life at work and at home.

How can you find out about YOUR strengths?

At Gallup’s website you can take a test. It’s only $9.99 and it will send you information immediately upon completing the test.

This test was based on research that encompassed over three million people. When you are done you will get your top 5 strengths and descriptions along with some additional information. There are 34 strengths, but only 1 in 33.3 million people will have the same exact five strengths in their top five.

The advantage of learning about your strengths is that it often confirms what we are good at and love to do. Many people are pushed to work on their weaknesses and end up feeling drained and unhappy. When you cultivate your talents you feel energized and in the zone! That place where time is lost and you feel completely absorbed.

If you haven’t been in the “zone” for a while, or never, don’t worry!

Talents may be dormant but they never go away. You just have to decide to use them!

Why should you learn more about your STRENGTHS?
1. It will help you rediscover or confirm your talents.
2. You will be more confident about communicating your strengths to others because you value your own uniqueness.
3. A greater appreciation for your own talents will help you recognize what is special about others.

This is just the start! Many organizations and businesses use strength-based training to develop teams, but it is also great for individuals and couples.

If you are interested in learning more about your strengths Northshore & Southshore Wellness is partnering with Wendy Hornung, a Gallup Certified Strength Coach. See our EVENTS section to find out about upcoming Strengths-based training events.

Northshore & Southshore Counseling and Wellness offering Counseling and Therapy in Mandeville and Metairie

Northshore & Southshore Counseling and Wellness has a second location in Metairie to provide individual, family and group therapy for New Orleans, Metairie, Kenner and the surrounding areas. Our office on Metairie Road is easy to reach from Uptown, Downtown, or Metairie.

Appointments are available for new clients as well as for the convenience of existing clients from our Mandeville location who work or are frequently in the Metro New Orleans area.

If you are a resident of the Greater New Orleans area seeking counseling for marriage, family, relationships, addiction, bipolor disorder, collaborative divorce, medication management, assessment for ADHD, ADD or PTSD, schedule an appointment by calling or contacting our therapy office today.

Northshore and Southshore Counseling & Wellness, Metairie Location:

433 Metairie Road
Suite 309
Metairie, LA 70005
(504) 717-4043
(map)

Dr Andre, What is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce is a team-based process with the purpose of providing a non-litigious and efficient process for couples who are divorcing.  It is structured very differently than what most people think of in a traditional divorce process.  There are 6 team members trained in the process: two attorneys, two therapists who serve as coaches, a therapist who serves as a child specialist, and a financial planner.  These professionals are trained to guide each person in the couple through to a “win-win” resolution of all matters related to the divorce while avoiding any court involvement.

..a non-litigious and efficient process for couples who are divorcing

The couple is assisted in working out their own custody arrangements and financial outcomes within the legal constraints in Louisiana.  This allows them to keep control over their outcomes, as opposed to a judge making such decisions.  Additionally, the process allows the matter to remain private, which is often important to business people who don’t want their financials to become part of public record and available to others such a business competition.  Another benefit is that, because each person has a supported voice in the process, the agreements reached are ones that both people can live with for the long-term, which greatly decreases the likelihood of revisiting custody or other matters well after the divorce is final.

…a “win-win” resolution of all matters related to the divorce while avoiding any court involvement.  

Some people have questions about the cost of this process as compared to traditional divorces.  While there are more professionals involved in a Collaborative Divorce, this does not mean the cost is higher.  Less time is required of the attorneys, who typically have the highest fees.  Attorneys also are not spending time sitting in courts waiting for your case to be heard, which can be a large expense.  The coaches and financial professional spend the majority of the time with the couple in order to work prepare them for productively moving through the important decisions and minimizing attorney time.  Therefore, time is not lost in conflict, disagreements, or court time.  The team can flex the use of the professionals to the specific needs of the couple, thereby streamlining costs.

Clients of the Collaborative Divorce process experience an effective and productive working environment in which all parties are assisted to remain neutral and both people’s concerns are addressed.  This process helps take the “drama” out of divorce.

Want to know more about what is collaborative divorce? Call our office for an appointment. We’re located in Metairie (504) 717-4043 or Mandeville (985) 624-2942

 

-Andre Sagrera Judice, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT, DCEP

How do I communicate with my TEENAGER!?!!??

Why does my teen feel the need to argue with me?

Your teen DOES NOT feel the need to argue with you.  Your teen DOES feel the need to be heard, understood, and accepted.  When your teen feels they are not being heard they will argue, yell, and act out because they are frustrated and feeling alone.

How do I make my teen feel understood?

By listening to them!!  When an argument begins parents are so frustrated with being disrespected they close their ears to their teen; much like their teen does when they’re frustrated with not being understood.  By repeating what your teen wants in a clear, calm manner you show them you are taking in what they are saying to you.

How is telling them what they want to hear helping them?

Letting your teen know you hear them is not the same as letting them have their way.  Once you’ve calmly showed them you are listening to them, it is your turn to explain your opinion.  You can still tell your teen no and let them know you understand where they are coming from.

What’s the best way to talk to my teen?

Stay calm!!  You set the tone of the conversation with your child, if they try to escalate the conversation to an argument it is up to you to stay calm and keep the discussion from turning into a screaming match.

What are other important things to remember when talking to my teen?

Don’t judge.  Don’t tell your teen “You don’t understand”.  Do create a safe, open space for expression.  Do show your child how to keep calm by doing so yourself.  Always remember that you are a parent, not a friend; it’s ok for your teen to be angry with you for not giving them their way, just continue to show them you are listening to them and taking in everything they are saying.   If you would like to involve a counselor in your conversations to better help you communicate with your teenager, please call our office for an appointment.

We’re located in Metairie (504) 717-4043 or Mandeville (985) 624-2942 -Dr. Andre Sagrera Judice, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT, DCEP

 

-Contributed by Michelle Haeur, M.Ed., NCC, Counselor Intern

Social drinking question

Dr Andre,

When is it time to seek help with a social drinking question? I do not share the same opinion of my wine with dinner as other members of my family?

 

Since there is a conflict of opinion it would probably be helpful for both parties(all) to be fully heard. Often in a neutral setting each side can actually speak and be heard without interruptions. Sometimes this is the first time people actually truly listen to each other!  From there, a decision could be made by you for guidance, suppport, or general reassurance , or any other goals that may be discovered in session. If you would like more specific information regarding your family communication please call our office for an appointment. We’re located in Metairie (504) 717-4043 or Mandeville (985) 624-2942.

 

-Dr. Andre Sagrera Judice, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT, DCEP

How can I get through to my teenage daughter?

Dr. Andre,

How can I get through to my teenage daughter? All we ever do is butt heads, and get nowhere. She’s 15 going on 30 and I’m losing my hair over this. Thanks for any help you can offer.

 

Communication styles, ways of problem solving, and parenting styles are important aspects of getting through to teens.

It is important to have a strong and healthy belief about what one’s role as a parent first, and then how one wishes to relate according to their values, beliefs, and principles. In this way, during the years of raising and living with teens one can operate more easily from a solid set of priorities.

In a vast majority of cases, once the teen knows he has a supportive, listening parent and at the same time he is the one choosing his behaviors/consequences, things start to solidify in a  more stable manner.

If you would like more specific information regarding your happiness and healthy relationships, please call our office for an appointment. We’re located in Metairie (504) 717-4043 or Mandeville (985) 624-2942

Response from Therapist Jan Doty

How can I help my 10 year old son control his behavior at school?

“Drs, I am at a loss with my son. How can I help my 10 year old control his behavior at school? “

The first thing to look at is his health. Is he getting enough rest, eating properly, enough exercise? It is also important to look at any recent or ongoing stressors that need to be processed. We also need to examine parenting styles, and the parent/child relationship to ascertain how that is working, and how can it be improved upon.

The child and his goals, desires, level of development, and abilities to cope and problem solve are gathered. From there a plan is made to assist with all  or specific areas that can help. Typically, after general health care review, and maybe some parenting tips, the child is helped to learn specific impulse control skills, stress reducing techniques, and problem solving strategies. Depending on the child’s age and ability to comprehend, an attempt to correct some faulty thinking may also be incorporated.

 

I hope this gives you some insight on the factors that affect your son. We’re located in Metairie (504) 717-4043 or Mandeville (985) 624-2942 if you would like to contact us for specific therapy for your child

Response from Counselor Jan Doty

Parents, children & technology

The other day my friend came to me because she found porn on her ten year old daughter’s iPod Touch and she didn’t know what to do.

Technology has made life easier, multitasking more convenient, but it has also given children and adolescents access to a greater number of things that they shouldn’t be exposed to just yet. This is why I suggest parents be more aware of what their child is participating in on their electronic devices. There should be a common set of expectations between the child and parents. The rules should be based on the age of the child and parents should regularly check and monitor their activity. If having time to monitor this activity is an issue, there are parental controls and applications that can be used. I think in these situations it is probably better to be a little more involved instead of blissfully unaware. Kids have more respect for parents that put in the time to be tuned in to what they are accessing, and this can result in a better relationship between parents and teenagers.

Suzanne Kelley
M.Ed, NCC, LPC-I

Child Behavioral Problems: How Family Counseling Can Help

Too often parents send children with behavioral problems to individual counseling without recognizing the crucial role they play in remedying the problem.  When looking at counseling from a systemic approach, you recognize that children are largely a product of their environments.  As individuals in a family, we all play a role based on the roles and behaviors of the other family members.  It is impossible to fully understand a person in isolation because we are all a part of an emotional unit, a family. You must look at the unit as a whole in order to properly remedy the source of the problem.

It is often said, “Children don’t come with an instruction manual,” which is why family counseling can be such a wonderful tool to help you figure out the best ways to parent your child, based on the overall structure of your family.  Children function best when living in a structured and stable environment.  This helps to create a sense of safety and security for the child, thus allowing them to thrive.

Child behavioral problems often emerge during times of major life changes, such as parental divorce, a death in the family, birth of a new sibling, or moving to a new location. These life changes can lead to a change in the family’s current balance, and thus lead to role changes.  Because these changes can cause instability, it is important during these times to check in with your child; communicate with your child about their thoughts and feeling, and look out for any changes in their mood and/or behavior.  During these times it is also important to maintain a routine, and stay consistent with any rules, consequences, and rewards system in place.

In family counseling, parents and their children are able to work together with the help of their therapist to learn the tools needed to create a happy, healthy family unit.  You will explore possible sources of your child’s symptoms by looking at the structure and roles of the family unit, create a personalized treatment plan, learn new communication skills, learn new parenting techniques, and implement them while under the guidance of your therapist.

 

Priscilla Hurd

M.Ed., NCC, LPC-I