Marriage counseling in Metairie, Marriage Counseling in Mandeville, Marriage and couples therapy in Metairie,

How is couples counseling for same-sex couples different from opposite-sex couples counseling?

For the most part it’s not. Same-sex couples deal with many of the same issues in couples therapy that opposite-sex couples do. Most couples come across the common issues of sex, finances, household duties, and family. The need to learn better communication skills, learn the art of conflict resolution and compromise, recognize and break dysfunctional patterns, and find ways to reconnect or stay connected are all common things dealt with in couples counseling for all couples.

Good communication is a two way street and the ultimate goal should be to better understand your partner.

That said, there are some issues that are unique to same-sex couples. Being a member of the LGBTQ community poses its own unique set of challenges that are bound to leak over into your relationships. As a same-sex couple, you may be faced with a lack of acceptance by family or friends, and on a larger scale, a lack of acceptance by society in general. Issues may arise in trying to navigate through the decision to come out to family and friends. Couples deal with feelings of anger, hurt, and frustration over not being allotted many of the same privileges that straight couples are granted. The desire to become a parent also presents its own unique set of obstacles for same-sex couples who wish to fulfill that desire.

  • Keys to a better same-sex relationship
    • learn better communication skills
    • learn conflict resolution
    • recognize dysfunctional patterns
    • reconnect in new ways

Even the happiest and healthiest of couples run across difficult times. All of these things, and many others, can be addressed in couples therapy so that you can gain the coping skills and strategies needed to deal with any common or unique issues that arise and pose a challenge to your relationship. When going through a difficult time in your relationship, one of the most effective ways to start the mending process is implementing basic healthy communication skills. The key to good communication is to really listen to what your partner is expressing to you and then attempt to understand their perspective. Often times we are so concerned with trying to get our point across, that we forget to take the time to hear what our partner is trying to communicate to us. Good communication is a two way street and the ultimate goal should be to better understand your partner. If you are both working to understand each other, real work can be done to better your relationship.

Priscilla Hurd, LPC, NCC

Ready to get to work? Call us! 985-624-2942

Northshore & Southshore Counseling and Wellness offering Counseling and Therapy in Mandeville and Metairie

Northshore & Southshore Counseling and Wellness has a second location in Metairie to provide individual, family and group therapy for New Orleans, Metairie, Kenner and the surrounding areas. Our office on Metairie Road is easy to reach from Uptown, Downtown, or Metairie.

Appointments are available for new clients as well as for the convenience of existing clients from our Mandeville location who work or are frequently in the Metro New Orleans area.

If you are a resident of the Greater New Orleans area seeking counseling for marriage, family, relationships, addiction, bipolor disorder, collaborative divorce, medication management, assessment for ADHD, ADD or PTSD, schedule an appointment by calling or contacting our therapy office today.

Northshore and Southshore Counseling & Wellness, Metairie Location:

433 Metairie Road
Suite 309
Metairie, LA 70005
(504) 717-4043
(map)

Social drinking question

Dr Andre,

When is it time to seek help with a social drinking question? I do not share the same opinion of my wine with dinner as other members of my family?

 

Since there is a conflict of opinion it would probably be helpful for both parties(all) to be fully heard. Often in a neutral setting each side can actually speak and be heard without interruptions. Sometimes this is the first time people actually truly listen to each other!  From there, a decision could be made by you for guidance, suppport, or general reassurance , or any other goals that may be discovered in session. If you would like more specific information regarding your family communication please call our office for an appointment. We’re located in Metairie (504) 717-4043 or Mandeville (985) 624-2942.

 

-Dr. Andre Sagrera Judice, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT, DCEP

Couple’s Communication 101

Dr Andre, Why can’t I communicate with my partner?

 

“We just can’t seem to communicate!” I hear this often in sessions with couples. Here are a few pointers that I always offer my clients who struggle with communication.

First of all, we need to understand the differences in the way men and women communicate. Men are generally far more concrete and linear in their thoughts and statements, whereas women are more abstract and detailed. For men, YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers. Women, however, are more likely to respond with more information. For example, when a lady asks a man if she looks OK in a particular dress, a man believes he has answered her question when he responds with “yes” or “no”. Another female is more likely to respond to the same question with, “Well, I like the color of the dress, but…”

A gifted communicator knows how to listen.

Another communication challenge happens when a man asks a woman what is wrong and she answers “nothing”. He usually believes her! This does not mean he doesn’t care about her. Men are just not good mind readers. Ladies, they depend on you to tell them what you want or need. But, remember, we all get the best results when we speak in the “I” rather than “you”. Starting a statement with “you” tends to put the other person on the defensive because it has an accusatory tone. And, let’s not forget tone and timing are very important.

A gifted communicator knows how to listen. Men, by nature, are problem solvers. Women vent their feelings and problems to men who in turn have the urge to fix the problem. Great news, guys!  You don’t have to fix it – just listen. Listen without judgment. She just needs to get it off her chest.

Great news, guys!  You don’t have to fix it – just listen.

Finally, have you ever heard of QTIPS? It’s the acronym for Quit Taking It Personally, Silly. We all need to remember that not all problems are about us; so, let’s not assume he or she is angry at or disappointed with us. Your partner’s attitude or expression may be the result of something that happened at work or with someone else. Just ask, “You look upset. Is this about me?” When you respond with openness, your partner will feel safer to share with you. However, if the problem is about you, remember tone and timing. We can say almost anything when we say it with kindness and respect.

…remember tone and timing.

For more in-depth help with relationship and communication challenges, our therapists at Northshore Counseling and Wellness and always happy to help you be your best self. Please call our office for an appointment. We’re located in Metairie (504) 717-4043 or Mandeville (985) 624-2942

-Dr. Andre Sagrera Judice, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT, DCEP

Contributed by Janis Caserta, LPC, LAC

 

 

How can we make our marriage they way it used to be?

How can we stop fighting all the time, and get our marriage back how it used to be? All we have now is a lot of built up resentments.

Dr Andre,

How can we stop fighting all the time, and get our marriage back how it used to be? All we have now is a lot of built up resentments.Healthy communication is very important to developing and maintaining a good relationship.  Each person in the couple needs to learn the practice the skills of good communication.  Each person’s goals and needs in the relationship have to be validated in the relationship.  This doesn’t always mean needs to get met, but they are respected as important to each person.  Successful relationships are based on a win-win approach and allowing give and take to work together.  Resentments build after a person feels their needs have not been respected for a while.  Resentments are signs that the relationship is in true danger.  However, when two people make real effort to discuss and then release resentments, choosing instead to focus on meeting the desires of the other moving forward, resentments can be resolved.

In general, where there is a commitment, willingness for the marriage to thrive, honesty and trust, most couples can benefit from new ways to problem-solve, communicate, and develop healthier coping skills to replace old habitual responses.

Contributed by Jan Doty, North Shore Counseling & Wellness

…choosing instead to focus on meeting the desires of the other moving forward, resentments can be resolved.

Marriage Counseling: How and why it can help your relationship

How will Marriage Counseling help you?

  • Resolve conflict
  • Learn new communication skills
  • Therapy guides you both through your positive skills
  • Grow better, together

It is common for couples even in strong relationships and marriages to have difficulty at times.  This is because we each bring our communication and coping skill sets into our relationships, and at some point in the relationship those skills might be clashing or might not be developed enough to handle stressors that the relationship encounters.  If the couple can’t move past these glitches on their own, couples counseling can be very effective at helping them learn new skills and new ways of relating.  Interestingly, our best research indicates that even the healthiest couples disagree up to 70% of the time on crucial issues, so the good news is that we don’t have to aim for convincing our partners to see things our way to achieve happiness in relationships.
Couples counseling helps you to learn which of your current skill sets are working for you in the relationship, and what skills need to be developed.  Having a neutral and objective therapist in the conversation helps the process to remain productive, calm, and allow each of you to have support in the change process.  The therapist is able to point out areas that both of you need to gain more perspective on and areas for growth.  Finally, the therapist is there to explain why certain things are happening in the relationship and teach more effective skills to get better outcomes.

Read more about individual, couple, family and group therapy advantages here