Myths vs. Facts

Posted by & filed under Couples Therapy.

Myth:

People cheat in relationships because the other partner isn’t satisfying them in the bedroom.

Fact:

If only there was one simple answer to that question! As a therapist, I find that most monogamous (and there are plenty of people who do not believe in monogamy) people cheat for several reasons, however, these have been the biggest reasons I’ve seen in my 14 years of practice. 1. The person who cheats feels like he/she is not having their needs met (these can be emotional needs, physical needs, or financial needs). Now, this doesn’t mean that anyone in a committed relationship has the right to cheat if that happens, but instead signals a larger breakdown in the relationship (communication, individual depression or other emotional issues, life getting in the way) and is a very loud alert that something is wrong. 2. The person has already checked out of the relationship and is perhaps acting out in order to get out of the relationship.

Cheating can also sometimes be a cultural norm, and therefore can be a behavior modeled for that person growing up. The best preventative measures for this phenomenon in a relationship is to pay attention to it! Our relationships need to grow, change, and evolve, just as we do as individuals. When we can communicate effectively with our partner, then we have a better chance of catching problems as they come up instead of reactively dealing with the consequences of this act.

Don’t hesitate to get help! Marriage counseling is available to help you work with your partner on the problems that can lead up to this devastating problem.

 

Micah Hatchett, PhD., LPC,  has been practicing as a therapist for 14 years, and is the Clinical Director of Northshore Counseling and Wellness in Covington, LA.